It’s not just pride. It’s values.
If your value is “dishonesty is okay if it helps me,” then when you lie, there’s nothing inside that says “I did wrong.”
And to apologize? That would mean admitting the value itself might be broken. That’s scary.
The Paradox.
To change a value, you usually need to apologize. But to apologize, you have to challenge the value.
A Simple Guide :
1. Notice the hidden value.
Ask: What belief is protecting this behavior?
2. Start small.
Make one honest apology, even for something tiny.
3. Separate action from identity.
It’s not “I am a liar.” It’s “I lied because I believed this.”
4. Practice.
Each apology teaches your body:
• Honesty is safe.
• Vulnerability brings connection.
5. Rewrite the value.
Shift to: “Honesty matters, even when it costs me, because it builds trust and connection.”
Apology isn’t just about the past. It’s about opening the future to a new way of living.
