About
I founded Next Self in 2025. Browse the blog to scroll through all content. Or trauma themed content.
NextSelf helps people understand their inner world so they can stop living from survival patterns, like people pleasing, and start practicing relationship, with themselves, with others, and with The Creator. Through Chassidus and psychology education.
If you have any criticism of content or ideas to improve, leave a comment on that post and it will be addressed.
“When one person does relationship work with another human, it’s like bringing an atonement offering on behalf of the Creator for the suffering humanity experienced through Creation” Human relationship work helps turn suffering into revealed goodness. – based on a talk of the Lubavitcher Rebbe about a Midrash.
What you believe effects how your nervous system feels, if you choose to believe in randomness or that the Creator is a bully, that harms your nervous system, choosing to believe in a Creator and trusting He is good, helps your nervous system, 13 principles of faith by the Rambam, when understood through Chabad Chassidus, explain healthy faith.
If you want my psychology book recommendations, they give an idea of what my psychology content is based on, skip below.
I was born in Brooklyn, moved to south Florida within my first year, Montreal at around 4.5 🙂
My mother learned about Judaism through Chabad (her paternal grandmother was native canadian) so I studied at the Rabbinical College of Canada (chabad) through 8th grade, I didn’t get accepted to the chabad school suggested to me for 9th grade so went to the Hebrew Academy of Cleveland (Litvak) and was there through 11th grade and then moved to Israel.
Since 2009, I have continued studying Jewish texts through online classes and teachers, including Rabbi Tzvi Freeman on Chabad.org, Rabbi YY Jacobson (600+ classes since around 2013), Rabbi Yossi Paltiel (1000+ classes on kabbalah/chassidus since 2013), Rabbi Manis Friedman, Aleph Beta (animated videos), Chayenu app, Rabbi Tovia Singer and Rabbi Glatstein.
An important post explaining trauma research: Thinking for hours may be rumination and not problem solving and How to practice compassion when feeling guilt.
In 2012, I started building consumer product brands through Amazon. Over time, thank G-d, those businesses reached millions of dollars in annual revenue. I have also been studying consumer psychology and marketing since 2009.
In 2016, I became involved in federal litigation seeking more than $20 million in damages. The case involved another person who was scraping the plaintiff’s website while using my insurance license to help operate the business.
At the time, my fawn [people-pleasing] and freeze trauma patterns were out of control. Instead of protecting myself with clear boundaries, I agreed to share a lawyer with the other defendants and covered the legal costs for years.
The litigation continued for more than 10 years. Important evidence that could have helped explain my limited role was not properly presented, including evidence that I had no ownership in, and was not profiting from, the company doing the scraping. I also did not testify at a court hearing that I could have attended by video after, according to my understanding, another defendant convinced my trial lawyer not to notify me about it.
I ultimately became responsible for a judgment of more than $500,000.
From 2015 to 2017, I was also living with severe depression while struggling to make boundaries and practice enough self-compassion.
From 2018 through 2023, I experienced severe autoimmune disease activity from spondylitis, a rheumatic condition. At times, I spent months mostly in bed with intense physical pain while waiting to see whether new medications would help.
The severe disease activity began after I learned that someone I was close with had fled to another country to avoid going to jail. I have not heard from him since. Before that happened, I was already living with severe anxiety and depression.
During those years, I began noticing clear patterns between emotional stress, such as anger, anxiety, depression, and the stress of difficult relationships, my nervous system, and my physical health.
This was not completely new. I first experienced moderate to severe disease activity around ages 6–8, although it went into remission by around age 12.
Medication, vitamins, peptides, years of eating a very basic diet of quinoa, carrots, and tahini, Chinese medicine, and exercise were not enough. Severe disease activity itself can also be intensely traumatic for the nervous system and body.
In early 2021, I heard Dr. Bessel van der Kolk explain that healing trauma requires becoming an expert with feelings during a Q&A with Rabbi YY Jacobson.
That idea changed the direction of my life.
That year, I studied more than 15 books, took many classes on psychology and trauma research, and practiced a significant amount of breathwork.
By late 2023, Baruch Hashem, I no longer needed a wheelchair. I was able to significantly reduce my autoimmune medication, rebuild enough muscle to live without chronic pain, and develop more self-esteem by learning self-compassion and practicing boundaries in business relationships.
For context, I weighed about 145 pounds in early 2018 and had fallen to around 110 pounds by mid-2022.
Living in Thailand was also critical because the climate is much easier on my body. Physical therapy helped significantly, and I also received stem-cell treatment derived from fresh placenta.
My nervous system has not fully healed.
Temperatures below about 70°F can cause my muscles to tighten. Below about 60°F, the tightening can become severe enough to trigger disease activity if I do not reduce my physical activity. As of mid-2026, these reactions are much less intense than they once were, although I still live with joint and muscle damage throughout my body.
Changes in air pressure also affect my nervous system, and tropical climates tend to be the least triggering for me. When my nervous system becomes highly triggered, I also notice that I have less awareness and curiosity and am more likely to fall back into automatic survival patterns.
My team is available for Amazon e-commerce consulting, partnerships to build consumer brands, and building or managing marketing teams of one or more people in Jerusalem and Tel Aviv.
In early 2025, an individual caused millions of dollars in financial harm to both of us. After I explained why I no longer trusted him, he took control of important business accounts in an attempt to force me out of the company [a white collar crime].
That experience reinforced something important I had been learning about boundaries: making a boundary is not only about what you say. You also have to understand how another person may react when they feel rejected, criticized, or out of control.
One useful way to begin is simply to tell someone, “I want to have a difficult conversation with you,” before explaining the problem. It gives both people a chance to approach the conversation with more awareness instead of immediately reacting from survival patterns.
Baruch Hashem, AI now allows me to publish much faster and explain many of the ideas about psychology, trauma, relationships, and self-awareness that were helpful during my own healing journey.
You can follow my latest psychology and spiritual content on Facebook (i generally post to fb first), or the NS blog. Let me know if you have any ideas to help develop content.
For a list of short 50+ 1 line ideas: https://nextself.ai/spirituality/wisdom/
You can reach me at [email protected].
Psychology Book Recommendations
These are some of the books that helped me understand generational trauma, emotional healing, self compassion, boundaries, and intimacy. There is also YouTube summaries about many of these ideas.
Peaceful Parenting: How To Stop Yelling and Start Connecting: https://www.amazon.com/Peaceful-Parent-Happy-Kids-Connecting/dp/0399160280 – I paid for this book to be translated to Hebrew, let me know if you want a Hebrew copy.
The Body Keeps the Score
The first half explains the research on trauma. The second half explains the research behind practices that help people heal.
amazon.com/Body-Keeps-Score-Healing-Trauma/dp/0143127748/
Breaking Patterns of Depression
Helpful for understanding depressive patterns and how they keep repeating.
amazon.com/Breaking-Patterns-Depression-Michael-Yapko/dp/0385483708
Summary of book: https://nextself.ai/mental-health/breaking-patterns-of-depression/
How survival patterns become apart of the personality through generational trauma and what they look like: https://www.amazon.com/Complex-PTSD-Surviving-RECOVERING-CHILDHOOD/dp/1492871842/
Self-Care for Children of Emotionally Immature Parents
Helpful for understanding many symptoms of trauma.
amazon.com/Self-Care-Children-Emotionally-Immature-Parents/dp/1684039827
Addictive Thinking
Helpful for understanding how addictive thinking works, trauma patterns can become addictive. amazon.com/Addictive-Thinking-Abraham-Twerski-M-D/dp/1568381387
Love Worth Making
Helpful for understanding how intimacy works, explains what it means the sexual self is like a 2 year old.
amazon.com/Love-Worth-Making-Ridiculously-Long-Lasting/dp/1250113105
What My Bones Know
Includes guidance from Dr. Jacob Ham and helps explain the struggle with aggression and trauma.
amazon.com/What-My-Bones-Know-Healing/dp/0593238109
Healing the Shame that Binds You
Helpful for understanding toxic shame.
amazon.com/Healing-Shame-Binds-Recovery-Classics/dp/0757303234
Running on Empty No More
Helpful for understanding how to recover from childhood emotional neglect.
amazon.com/Running-Empty-More-Transform-Relationships/dp/1683506731
Silently Seduced
Helpful for understanding what happens when a parent uses a child for emotional support.
amazon.com/Silently-Seduced-Parents-Children-Partners/dp/0757315879/
The Gift of Therapy
Helpful for understanding how vulnerability works.
amazon.com/Gift-Therapy-Generation-Therapists-Patients/dp/0061719617
Recovering from Emotionally Immature Parents
Helpful for boundaries and recovery.
amazon.com/Recovering-Emotionally-Immature-Parents-Boundaries/dp/1684032520
Internal Family Systems Skills Training Manual
Helpful as a practical system for self compassion. This post explains self compassion more clearly in a few minutes: https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1BnW4wtBnN/
amazon.com/Internal-Family-Systems-Skills-Training/dp/1683730879/
Codependent No More
Helpful for building self esteem and recognizing common symptoms of codependency.
amazon.com/Codependent-No-More-Controlling-Yourself-ebook/dp/B0B18JHYMC
Should I Stay or Should I Go?
Helpful for understanding abusive/unhealthy thinking and how it works (i was dealing with multiple people with out of control unhealthy thinking through business and it all over laps).
amazon.com/Should-Stay-Relationship-Can-Should-be/dp/042523889X These two posts are also helpful summaries of that kind of pattern:
An article explaining how to notice the Creator is good: https://nextself.ai/spirituality/infinite-creator-wants-creation/
Thank you for taking the time to read my content, let me know if you have any feedback.