does not hear “feelings” the way a healthy person does.
“They don’t thin you’re being honest. They think you’re trying to make them gullible. Because in their mind, feels are not for connection. They are toold people use to gain control. “
They hear it as a threat. Because in their mindset, relationships are about control, not connection. So when someone starts talking about feelings, they don’t see it as honesty or vulnerability. They see it as a tactic.
They assume:
“You’re trying to soften me so I let my guard down.”
“You’re trying to make me emotional so I become easier to control.”
“You’re trying to manipulate me.”
To them, feelings are not something to understand. They are something people use to gain power. So instead of becoming curious, they become suspicious and stay there.
Instead of listening, they shut it down or mock it. Instead of connecting, they protect control. That’s why conversations about feelings often go nowhere with them.
You’re trying to build relationship.
They’re trying to avoid losing control. And those are two completely different goals.
