Behind the mask of pride is something much more fragile:
1. The fear that if you let someone close, they’ll reject you.
2. The fear that if you show your true self, the shame will be unbearable.
3. The fear that opening up will mean losing control.
This fear isn’t random. In Kabbalah, it comes from the fallen sparks of Tohu, chaotic energy trapping you. One part of you lives in chaos and ego.
Another part feels totally cut off from real love and G-d’s light (compassion/kindness). And that’s why narcissism feels so lonely. You desire connection, but the walls you build to protect yourself are the same walls that keep you isolated.
And ego doesn’t just look like narcissism. It shows up in all four adaptive trauma patterns:
1. Fight ➝ Narcissism, control, domination.
2. Flight ➝ Running from connection, endless distraction.
3. Freeze ➝ Shutting down, going numb.
4. Fawn ➝ People-pleasing, losing yourself to keep others happy.
Here’s a deeper layer:
The vessels of Tohu shattered into sparks because they developed an ego. Why? Because G-d gave anonymously, pure giving, with no “I” attached.
And when pure light enters an immature vessel, it can’t handle the power, it grows an ego and shatters. That same pattern lives in us. When we heal from this ego, we become capable of holding the very light that once felt too overwhelming.
Here’s how to begin lifting those fallen sparks and making vulnerability feel safe again:
Awareness — Notice when fear of being seen is running the show.
Compassion — Treat that fear as wounded, not shameful.
Boundaries — Create safety without shutting people out.
Self-Forgiveness — Let go of the shame.
You are more than your defenses.
What if the part of you most afraid to be seen is actually the place where you can feel the deepest awe? Healing doesn’t mean never being afraid. It means choosing vulnerability, step by step, even when fear says otherwise.
When you dare to be vulnerable, the sparks rise and so do your blessings. 
Question for you: What’s scarier for you: being seen as weak, or being seen as unworthy?
#healingjourney#vulnerability#kabbalahwisdom
