It creates the need for a deeper kind of love.
When life is smooth, you don’t notice love very much. You feel in control. But when something hurts,
when you feel scared, ashamed, depressed, or confused, you lose that control.
And that’s the moment something important happens.
What trauma actually is, Trauma isn’t just what happened to you. It’s what your mind and body learned to do
to survive what happened.
You adapt.
Some people survive by:
1. shutting down or numbing feelings
2. staying busy or avoiding emotional needs
3. people-pleasing to feel safe
Others survive by:
1. staying in control
2. blaming or overpowering others
3. protecting an image instead of feeling pain (narcissism)
All of these are adaptive patterns.
They once protected you. But over time, they block closeness, honesty, and love.
With awareness, trauma takes away the idea that love depends on being strong, good, or successful.
You can’t earn your way out of pain. You can’t think your way out. You can’t perform your way out.
So the only question left is:
“Am I still loved here?”
If the answer is yes, then that love isn’t conditional.
This is where awe begins. Awe isn’t one feeling. It’s a blend.
A relationship with the Creator begins with awe (just like a relationship with people begins with curiosity).
Awe includes:
1. Sadness — because you feel distant.
2. Fear — because you realize the relationship is real and your choices matter.
3. Wonder — because you discover you’re still loved anyway.
That mix is overwhelming in a good way.
When you give words to your sadness, fears, and shame, the relationship deepens.
Healing happens when this love is practiced, not just discovered. Feeling G-d’s unconditional love opens the door.
Learning to offer that same unconditional love to yourself is what allows healing to continue.
Awareness helps you notice what you’re actually feeling.
Compassion keeps you listening instead of judging yourself.
Boundaries protect the parts of your personality that are healing.
Breathwork helps your body learn that it’s safe now.
This is how trauma deepens felt awareness of G-d. You realize His love didn’t wait for you to improve. It was already there.
As you practice unconditional love toward yourself, your body starts to recognize that same love more easily. Love stops being an idea. It becomes something your body feels. And once you feel unconditional love in trauma,
trauma gives a felt awareness of who G-d actually is.
Not loving when things go well, but loving without conditions.
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