Out-of-control disease activity wrecked my nervous system. I often needed a wheelchair, I had to follow a diet of mostly beans, carrots, broccoli, Quinua and tahini to live with less pain.
Here’s something people don’t always realize:
Disease itself can be traumatic. It shocks your body. It overwhelms your mind. It traps your nervous system in survival mode.
In 2022, I discovered trauma theory. I read 15+ books on recovery. That knowledge became a turning point.
But here’s how adaptive trauma patterns made things worse for my health:
FIGHT → Push harder than is safe
I skipped rest, ignored pain, and kept pushing.
FLIGHT → Avoid the scary thing
I over-researched but never booked the appointment.
FREEZE → Hope it passes
I missed meds, skipped PT, and stayed stuck in bed.
FAWN (people-pleasing) → Put others first
I said “I’m fine,” took on more, and delayed my own care.
Over time, my fight, flight, freeze, and fawn no longer ruled me. A year later, I didn’t need a wheelchair anymore. I was able to significantly reduce my medication (no more prednisone)
The biggest lesson?
Healing doesn’t start with control. Healing begins with awareness.
