Why Jewish law Makes YOU Responsible After the Third Apology (It’s Not About Being Nice)
Have you ever gotten an apology, but still felt hurt? They said “sorry” once.
Twice. Even three times. But inside, the pain still stays fresh.
Here’s the unexpected twist Jewish law gives:
After the third sincere apology, if you still can’t forgive, the responsibility shifts, to YOU.
Wait, what? Jewish law isn’t blaming you for your pain. It’s guiding you to something deeper: If they don’t fully understand your pain, how can their apology really help?
Sometimes we’re stuck feeling lonely or misunderstood, but we haven’t clearly explained what’s wrong. So here’s your new job:
Clearly and gently explain exactly how they hurt you. Use simple words. Describe how it made you feel.
Why? Because a true apology needs understanding. If you don’t speak up, you’re accidentally choosing loneliness over connection.
G-d created humanity because he desired connection to happen.
Here’s a quick tip to make this easier:
1. Say calmly, “I know you’re sorry, but here’s what I’m still feeling.”
2. Share your feelings in short, clear sentences.
When you express your pain clearly, healing can begin. Forgiveness isn’t just letting go. It’s creating deeper understanding so harmful patterns don’t repeat.
Your takeaway:
“Forgiveness heals when understanding happens first.” You deserve connections that truly understand you.
