Many people are experiencing the same thing with G-d,

they still care, they still try, but the joy has faded, so the relationship doesn’t feel alive.

But the reason goes deeper: G-d is not only our Father; He is also our King.

And joy in a relationship with a King only comes after awe.

Awe means recognizing His infiniteness:

That He sees the whole story from outside the story, that nothing we do ever surprises or threatens Him, and yet our choices are real because we live inside the moment He is creating.

And when that awareness reaches us emotionally, it brings three simple feelings:

1. A little sadness, because you feel how far you are from the closeness you want.

2. A little fear, because you realize the relationship is real and your choices matter.

3. A little wonder, because you’re amazed that Someone so infinite is actually good and wants a relationship with you.

This whole experience is only possible because of concealment.

To let us exist as independent beings, G-d had to hide His infiniteness, His goodness.

That hiddenness also creates the space and distance that causes a king–subject relationship.

These separations make Him our Father in essence, the One who loves, and King in relationship, the One we approach with awe. Just like human connection begins with curiosity, connection with the Infinite begins with awe,

And this is why repentance is not guilt. Repentance is simply practicing awe, remembering Who you’re talking to, so closeness can return, and joy can return, the same way joy brings a child back into a parent’s arms.

Joy leads to acts of love through boundaries, the commandments that make the relationship real, and that’s how G-dliness spreads in the world.

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