and distorted on others.
Life is like a ladder of awareness. The same love can feel totally different depending on the level you’re on:
Level 1 – Direct Awareness (Unity).
You experience connection without doubt.
Like awe at a sunset, when you just know you’re part of something bigger.
Level 2 – Abstract Ideas (Head awareness).
Love is a concept.
You think about meaning or kindness, but it stays in your head.
It feels inspiring but fragile.
Level 3 – Emotions + Imagination (body awareness).
You feel the connection — but emotions shift.
Some days you feel close, other days far.
Love feels conditional here.
Level 4 – Action without Awareness (Habit).
You keep moving, doing, performing… but it’s empty.
The actions are right, but the heart is checked out.
The further down you go, the more distorted love feels. Not because the love changed — but because your awareness did.
How trauma patterns keep you stuck on the lower rungs:
1. Fight → Distrust keeps you stuck in Level 3, where love always feels conditional.
2. Flight → Escaping lands you in Level 4, where you act without awareness.
3. Freeze → Hiding your thoughts blocks you from moving beyond emptiness into real awareness.
4. Fawn → Pleasing traps you in emotions (Level 3), always dependent on others’ reactions.
The transformation:
Healing those patterns helps you climb.
1. From action without awareness (Level 4) → to emotional connection (Level 3).
2. From fragile ideas (Level 2) → to moments of direct clarity (Level 1).
The higher you climb, the less love feels distorted. Not because love changes — but because you’re awake to it.
Try this today:
Notice what level you’re on.
If you’re stuck in survival mode, pause and ask: “What’s one small shift that could open me to more awareness right now?” That’s how the climb begins.
