1. Narcissism = a praise addiction.
“If you admire me, I’m safe.”
Control over your opinion.
2. Abusiveness = a power/control addiction.
“If I control you, I’m safe.”
Control over your behavior.
3. People-pleasing = an acceptance addiction.
“If you approve of me, I’m safe.”
Control over my own voice (by restraining it).
And here’s the truth:
We’re not one-dimensional. A person can carry all three parts — because inside us live many different strategies that once tried to keep us safe.
Healing begins when we see the pattern for what it is:
not “who we are,” but “what we learned.”
