Perfectionism isn’t one thing.
It depends on how a person learned to feel safe.
Trauma adaptive fight, flight, freeze, and fawn (which is people-pleasing) all try to be “perfect” in different ways, and all of them try to avoid a hard process.
What Does Perfectionism Look Like in Each Trauma Response?
1. Fight perfectionism
“I must be right.”
Arguing, controlling, overpowering others. Harm gets explained away as “truth”, “leadership” or “strength.”
2. Flight perfectionism
“I must stay busy and improve.”
Always working, fixing, learning, or moving.
They stay busy so they don’t have to feel guilt or shame or look at how their actions affected others.
3. Freeze perfectionism
“I must not mess up.”
Staying quiet, stuck, or ‘invisible.’
Repair is avoided by silence instead of engaging.
4. Fawn perfectionism
“I must keep everyone happy.”
People-pleasing, saying yes when they mean no. They avoid truth to keep “an image of harmony.”
Why Is It the Same Problem in Every Style?
Different styles. Same problem.
Each one protects an image instead of doing the work of honesty, repair, and humility (compassion + boundaries).
Where Does Redemption From Perfectionism Begin?
Redemption begins when people stop protecting an image and choose honesty, repair, and humility.
Explore the NextSelf Blog. Start with this post explaining the world of souls, and what does it mean to be light? And my Youtube. Content is published to this facebook first and a few days later, to the blog.
The blog lists all the difference patterns to study, understanding patterns is how one can develop 'Daas' [felt knowing].
Content does not provide medical services or professional counseling, and it is not a substitute for professional medical care.