Intimacy means there are two who are not the same, yet become deeply connected. So for intimacy to be real from our side, there has to be some experience of separation.
This idea is not based simply on the fact that physical matter exists.
It is guided by studying the patterns within creation and then learning how Torah and Chassidus explain where those patterns are meant to lead.
Again and again, we find the possibility of moving from separation toward relationship, from emotional immaturity toward deeper responsibility, and from hiddenness toward greater awareness of the Creator.
Chassidus teaches that this direction is not an accident. It is part of what creation was made for.
Why do we have to learn intimacy with the Creator?
Humanity also had to begin without fully developed emotional skills.
We are born able to feel fear, love, trust, sadness, and joy, but we are not born knowing how to relate to all of those feelings in a healthy way.
We have to develop skills like self-compassion, compassion, trust, honesty, boundaries, and how to stay present with difficult emotions.
That means part of intimacy with the Creator is something we actually have to learn how to build.
There also has to be a world where distance from Him can actually be felt.
That distance is not only an idea.
We feel it through pain, fear, rejection, uncertainty, loss, and the feeling that we are alone.
These experiences are some of the ways the hiddenness [separation] built into creation reaches the nervous system.
When goodness is hidden, life can feel random and disconnected from its Source.
The nervous system can then develop survival beliefs around that distance:
“I am alone.”
“I have to control everything.”
“I am not safe.”
“I am not wanted.”
Those beliefs can create even more suffering by shaping habits like people-pleasing, perfectionism, avoiding difficult conversations, addiction, and trying to control what happens so you do not have to feel fear, rejection, shame, or uncertainty.
The existence of these painful patterns does not mean the Creator loves suffering or evil.
Something being possible in creation does not mean it is the goal of creation.
The deeper pattern becomes clearer when we study what can happen to these experiences.
People-pleasing can become honesty, compassion, and healthy boundaries.
Avoiding difficult conversations can become learning to stay present and take responsibility.
Shame can become self-compassion and repair.
The suffering itself does not become good.
But something that created separation can be transformed into responsibility, relationship, and sometimes a deeper intimacy than existed before.
That repeated movement from separation toward deeper relationship is one of the patterns that helps explain the Chassidic view of creation.
How does awe begin?
But the same world that allows distance to be felt also gives us endless patterns through which we can begin noticing the Creator.
That noticing is part of how distance becomes closeness.
Awe begins by noticing patterns that show there is wisdom behind life. You notice order in nature, patterns in your own mind and body, the way events connect, or how much can depend on one small choice. The more you notice, the less life feels random or ordinary.
Wonder grows as you see how much wisdom is built into existence.
Fear grows as you recognize that the Creator is here and your choices truly matter before Him.
Humility grows as you realize how little you understand compared with the wisdom behind everything.
Music is one of the fastest ways for the nervous system to feel this awe.
A Chassidic melody can help you feel beauty, depth, longing, and closeness before your mind fully explains what you are feeling.
Talking with the Creator about what you feel also deepens awe and love when you believe He is listening.
Fear, sadness, gratitude, confusion, and hope stop being feelings you carry alone.
They become part of a relationship.
How does the nervous system move from survival toward intimacy?
This begins changing the nervous system.
Instead of only practicing control and survival, it begins practicing awe, trust, love, self-compassion, compassion, and relationship.
As awe and love deepen, life also begins to feel more meaningful to the nervous system.
You are no longer only trying to get through life, stay safe, or control what happens.
You begin to feel that you are living before the Creator, that your choices matter, and that your life is part of a relationship with Him.
That sense of meaning helps the nervous system move from survival toward intimacy.
What does it mean to become a co-partner in creation?
This is also part of what it means to become a co-partner in creation.
The Creator made a world where distance and hiddenness are possible.
He then allows us to participate in building the reality of intimacy inside that world.
Every time we develop the emotional skills needed for trust, compassion, awe, love, and healthy relationship, we help turn a world where separation can be felt into a world where closeness can be experienced.
We are not creating the universe with Him. We are participating in what kind of emotional and spiritual world gets revealed inside it.
As awe, trust, and love deepen, they can allow greater openness and intimacy with the Creator.
That intimacy can include sadness, because greater closeness makes you more aware of how much more of His goodness can still be revealed, and how much more deeply you can know Him, notice Him, and feel close to Him.
What is felt knowing?
As trust grows, felt knowing deepens.
Felt knowing means truth no longer stays only as an idea in your mind.
You begin to actually feel awe toward the Creator and feel in your nervous system that you are living before Him now.
Without felt knowing, you can believe the Creator is present while your nervous system still experiences life as random, threatening, or controlled only by physical causes.
With deeper felt knowing, that truth begins shaping your personality, your choices, your relationships, and the way you experience reality.
Why do emotional skills matter in the world of souls?
If you learned self-compassion, compassion, trust, awe, love, and how to work through painful emotions, those abilities help you experience that spiritual reality more deeply.
If there are emotional skills you did not develop during physical life, other souls can help teach you.
So entering the world of souls does not instantly make every person emotionally mature.
How quickly you learn to enjoy that reality depends partly on how well you know how to relate, to yourself, to other souls, and to the Creator.
A soul that knows self-compassion can face truth without collapsing into shame.
A soul that knows compassion can connect more deeply with others.
A soul that learned awe and trust can more easily experience closeness with the Creator.
This gives physical life a unique purpose.
Here, while distance can still be felt and goodness can still be hidden, we develop the emotional abilities needed to build intimacy.
Those abilities do not only change this life.
They prepare us to enjoy a reality where the Creator is much more openly known.
How do the patterns of suffering show the direction of creation?
This is one way the patterns of suffering help us understand the direction of creation.
Pain and fear first make separation feel real.
But those same experiences can become places where we learn to notice the Creator, understand our survival patterns, and transform them.
People-pleasing can become learning to tell the truth with compassion.
Avoiding hard conversations can become learning to stay present and take responsibility.
The need to control can become trust.
Shame can become self-compassion and repair.
The suffering itself is not the intimacy.
The transformation of separation into responsibility and relationship can create deeper intimacy.
That pattern is one reason Chassidus can describe the purpose of creation as something much deeper than simply producing a physical universe.
Chassidus teaches that the deepest pleasure is intimacy with the Creator.
Survival patterns teach us to trust control more than relationship.
Felt knowing [through feeling awe] teaches us to trust relationship more than control.
How do we help prepare the world for the Messianic era?
The Lubavitcher Rebbe taught that every person has a role in preparing the world for the Messianic era [world peace].
One of the deepest ways we do that is by building a genuine relationship with the Creator and helping other people build one too.
One of the simple missions the Rebbe gave was:
“If you know Alef, teach Alef.”
You do not have to know everything before helping someone else learn.
If you understand one Torah idea, ask someone if they want to hear it and share what you know.
The Rebbe also taught:
“We must recount and share with others the nearness of G-d that we experience.”
Noticing the Creator is not only something we keep inside.
When you notice a pattern that gives you more awe, trust, love, or awareness of His closeness, sharing it can help another person notice Him too.
Awe begins the relationship.
Trust allows it to grow into love.
Love contains joy and sadness.
Emotional growth helps us become co-partners in building the reality of deep intimacy.
Noticing turns hiddenness into felt closeness.
Sharing that closeness helps someone else begin noticing too.
And the more distance is transformed into relationship, control into trust, suffering into emotional growth, and private awareness into something we share, the more we help build a world where the Creator’s goodness is revealed.
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Related guides:
"All of our prophets and Sages affirm that anthropomorphic expressions are a genuine element of our relationship with G-d" - Rabbi Adin Even-Yisrael [Steinsaltz]
According to Jewish tradition, everyone will spend at least 1000 years in the world of souls:
Every world view has mysteries, some are more reasonable to believe:
Emotional numbness stops you from feeling awe:
Why does darkness [selfish desire] have to be so strong?
Why are the jewish people a great source of blessing? https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1BrKXqj5N7/
How does the soul benefit from the physical world?
What is abusive thinking?
Questions people ask
Why does intimacy with the Creator require some separation?
Intimacy means there are two who are not the same, yet become deeply connected, so from our side there has to be some experience of separation. That is why the Creator made a world where distance from Him can be felt, through pain, fear, rejection, uncertainty, and loss. Noticing Him in that world is part of how distance becomes closeness.
Which emotional skills build intimacy with the Creator?
The article names self-compassion, compassion, trust, honesty, boundaries, awe, love, and staying present with difficult emotions. We are born able to feel, but not born knowing how to relate to our feelings in a healthy way, so these skills have to be learned. As they deepen, the nervous system begins practicing relationship instead of only control and survival.
How can music help you feel awe toward the Creator?
Music is one of the fastest ways for the nervous system to feel awe. A Chassidic melody can help you feel beauty, depth, longing, and closeness before your mind fully explains what you are feeling. Talking with the Creator about what you feel, when you believe He is listening, deepens awe and love. Your feelings become part of a relationship.
Can survival patterns like people-pleasing really change?
Yes. People-pleasing can become honesty, compassion, and healthy boundaries. Avoiding hard conversations can become staying present and taking responsibility. The need to control can become trust, and shame can become self-compassion and repair. The suffering itself does not become good, but what created separation can be transformed into responsibility, relationship, and sometimes a deeper intimacy than existed before.
“The emotional skills you build in this life will shape how quickly you learn to enjoy the world of souls.”
Explore the NextSelf Blog. Start with this post explaining the world of souls. And my Youtube.
The blog lists all the difference patterns to study, understanding patterns is how one can develop 'Daas' [felt knowing].
Update: As awe, trust, and love deepen, they can allow greater openness and intimacy with the Creator. That intimacy can include sadness when you notice how much more of His goodness can be revealed.