Suffering can become a metaphor for how deeply the Creator is willing to enter into relationship with humanity.
The Creator did not make a world where relationship only exists during clarity, pleasure, success, and obvious goodness.
He made a world where confusion, shame, loneliness, fear, failure, and pain can also become places where a person turns toward Him.
That does not mean suffering is good.
It means suffering does not have to be outside the relationship.
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What does a deeper relationship survive?
A shallow relationship only works when everything feels easy.
A deeper relationship can survive confusion, distance, unanswered questions, sadness, and pain.
You can say:
“I do not understand what is happening, but I still want to know You.”
“I am hurting, but I do not want pain to become the whole story.”
“I feel far away, but I still want relationship.”
That is intimacy inside hiddenness.
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Why is the Creator's presence hidden at all?
Chassidus explains that the Creator wanted His Oneness revealed specifically in the lowest world, where His presence can feel most hidden.
The goal is not hiddenness.
The goal is revealed goodness.
But hiddenness creates the space for a finite person to experience real choice, responsibility, trust, and relationship with the Infinite Creator.
If His goodness were always impossible to miss, there would be much less room to choose whether to search for Him, trust Him, or bring hidden parts of life into relationship.
So the deepest darkness can become a place where more goodness is eventually revealed.
Not because darkness is good.
Because darkness can be transformed.
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How can pain deepen a relationship?
This is why suffering can deepen relationship.
Pain can force questions that comfort never required you to ask.
Do I still trust that the Creator is good?
Can I speak honestly to Him when I am angry, ashamed, afraid, or confused?
Can I feel pain without deciding that I have been abandoned?
Can I still choose goodness when goodness is hard to see?
When those questions become part of a conversation with the Creator, suffering stops being only something happening to you.
It can become part of how you relate.
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Where does a relationship with the Creator begin?
This does not mean distance itself is awe.
The Alter Rebbe explains that a relationship with the Creator begins with awe.
Awe begins when you become emotionally aware:
“I am living before the Infinite Creator right now.”
Awe contains wonder because His wisdom and the depth of reality are far beyond what you can fully understand.
It contains humility because you are not the Source, you do not see the whole story, and reality is not under your control.
And it contains healthy fear because your choices are real and matter.
That is where relationship begins.
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How does trust change the way awe feels?
Trust changes how awe feels.
Without trust, the greatness of the Creator can feel threatening.
When you trust that He is good, awe becomes the beginning of intimacy.
You can say:
“I do not understand You fully.”
“I cannot control this.”
“But I still trust that Your purpose is good.”
That trust lets you stay in the relationship even while goodness is hidden.
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Why can love hold both joy and sadness?
Then love can deepen.
Love contains joy because some of the Creator's goodness and closeness are already revealed.
That intimacy can also contain sadness because His goodness can always be more revealed.
You can feel:
“I am grateful for the goodness I already see.”
“And I want more of it revealed.”
That sadness can become longing.
Longing makes you want more closeness, more understanding, more healing, and more goodness in the world.
Sadness can also deepen awe because it makes you look more carefully at the Creator, His purpose, and what your choices can help reveal and can lead to accepting more responsibility.
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What can suffering turn into?
So suffering is not proof that the Creator wants pain.
It shows how far relationship can reach.
Even shame can become honesty.
Fear can become trust.
Loneliness can become conversation.
Failure can become return.
Sadness can lead to accepting more responsibility.
And pain can become a reason to search for more revealed goodness.
That is how darkness becomes part of intimacy without ever becoming the goal.
The Creator wants revealed goodness.
And He created a world where even the places that feel farthest from goodness can eventually become places where goodness is found, chosen, and revealed.
“Suffering is not good, but it reveals how deep the Creator wants intimacy with humanity to go.”
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Related guides:
Why was Adam and Eve created without emotional skills? humanity becomes a co-partner in creation
The only healthy belief system for the nervous system (not Buddhism): beliefs are not only an idea in your mind
You’ve only got 7 types of thoughts: the Chernobyl Maggid on the seven types of thoughts
Psychological structure of suffering turning into goodness: the Infinite Creator wants creation full of revealed goodness
What’s the Creators plan for creation over the next 2,000 years? Maimonides [Rambam] on the World to Come
The Creator’s giving can become more revealed or hidden inside creation: Kabbalah and Chassidus explain the Creator's instructions
Questions people ask
Does suffering mean the Creator has abandoned me?
No. The article says suffering does not have to be outside the relationship. One of the questions pain raises is whether you can feel it without deciding you have been abandoned. Noticing that question is an emotional skill, and it keeps the relationship open even while goodness is hidden.
Why does the Creator stay hidden?
Chassidus explains that His Oneness is meant to be revealed in the lowest world, where His presence can feel most hidden. The goal is not hiddenness but revealed goodness. Hiddenness leaves room for a finite person to practice real choice, responsibility, and trust - the emotional skills the article says build relationship with the Infinite Creator.
How can I stay close to the Creator while I am hurting?
By speaking honestly. The article offers plain sentences such as: I do not understand what is happening, but I still want to know You. Honesty, awareness, and trust are emotional skills, and practicing them turns pain into part of a conversation instead of something only happening to you.
Why does awe feel frightening instead of close?
Without trust, the greatness of the Creator can feel threatening. When you trust that He is good, awe becomes the beginning of intimacy. Trust is the emotional skill that changes how awe feels, so wonder, humility, and healthy fear can carry relationship rather than distance.
Explore the NextSelf Blog. Start with this post explaining the world of souls. And my Youtube.
The blog lists all the difference patterns to study, understanding patterns is how one can develop 'Daas' [felt knowing].
Update: As awe, trust, and love deepen, they can allow greater openness and intimacy with the Creator. That intimacy can include sadness when you notice how much more of His goodness can be revealed.