1. Narcissism = a praise addiction.
“If you admire me, I’m safe.”
Control over your opinion.
2. Abusiveness = a power/control addiction.
“If I control you, I’m safe.”
Control over your behavior.
3. People-pleasing = an acceptance addiction.
“If you approve of me, I’m safe.”
Control over my own voice (by restraining it).
And here’s the truth:
We’re not one-dimensional. A person can carry all three parts — because inside us live many different strategies that once tried to keep us safe.
Healing begins when we see the pattern for what it is:
not “who we are,” but “what we learned.”
Explore the NextSelf Blog. Start with this post explaining the world of souls. And my Youtube.
The blog lists all the difference patterns to study, understanding patterns is how one can develop 'Daas' [felt knowing].
Update: As awe, trust, and love deepen, they can allow greater openness and intimacy with the Creator. That intimacy can include sadness when you notice how much more of His goodness can be revealed.