G-d's kindness isn't something you earn, it's something you open up to through real humility.

First Published June 25, 2025Last Updated October 21, 2026by Binyamin Rutstein

3 min read

Ever felt like The Creator is hiding from you?

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When life feels unfair or lonely, we often think:

“Why is The Creator being so harsh?”

I remember feeling this way when depression was completely out of control in my life.

It felt like The Creator was nowhere to be found.

Is The Creator Really Hiding From Us?

Here's a secret most people miss:

The Creator isn’t cruel,He’s hidden.

Think of it like the sun behind clouds.

The sun didn’t disappear.

It's still warm and bright.

But thick clouds block us from feeling its warmth.

What Clouds Block The Creator's Warmth?

When we’re stuck in adaptive trauma patterns, we create these clouds without knowing it:

1. Fight: Always angry (at yourself or others), defensive, ready to argue.

2. Flight: Running away, escaping problems and feelings.

3. Freeze: Feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or trapped in endless worry/thoughts.

4. Fawn: People-pleasing, even when it hurts us.

These patterns keep us lonely, feeling distant from kindness, and from The Creator.

Over time, this loneliness can lead to depression because we're not getting the connection we desire.

How Can We Clear the Clouds?

But here's the good news:

When we heal these patterns, we clear away the clouds.

Each small step towards self-awareness, humility, and compassion helps us earn The Creator's revealed kindness.

Today, try this:

Pause.

Notice your pattern.

1. Are you running, hiding, fighting, or pleasing too much?

2. Remind yourself: “I don’t need this cloud right now.”

Wanting more connection with The Creator simply means wanting to heal.

And healing means opening up to kindness.

"G-d's kindness isn't something you earn, it's something you open up to through real humility."

Explore the NextSelf Blog. Start with this post explaining the world of souls, and what does it mean to be light? And my Youtube. Content is published to this facebook first and a few days later, to the blog.

The blog lists all the difference patterns to study, understanding patterns is how one can develop 'Daas' [felt knowing].
Content does not provide medical services or professional counseling, and it is not a substitute for professional medical care.

Questions people ask

Why do I feel alone and far from The Creator?

The Creator isn't cruel. He is hidden, like the sun behind clouds. The sun is still warm and bright, but thick clouds block you from feeling its warmth. When you are stuck in trauma patterns, you can make these clouds without knowing it. They can keep you lonely and far from kindness.

What do fight, flight, freeze, and fawn mean?

Fight means you are always angry at yourself or others, defensive, and ready to argue. Flight means running away from problems and feelings. Freeze means feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or trapped in endless worry. Fawn means people-pleasing, even when it hurts you. Each one can build a cloud between you and kindness without you knowing it.

Can loneliness lead to depression?

Yes. Over time, loneliness can lead to depression, because you are not getting the connection you desire. Trauma patterns keep you lonely and feeling distant from kindness and from The Creator. I remember feeling this way. When depression was out of control in my life, it felt like The Creator was nowhere to be found.

What is one small step to try today?

Pause and notice your pattern. Ask yourself, “Am I running, hiding, fighting, or pleasing too much?” Then remind yourself, “I don’t need this cloud right now.” Healing these patterns clears away the clouds. Each small step toward self-awareness, humility, and compassion helps you open up to kindness.

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