Chassidus explains why.
Why do fear and shame stay when you know the truth?
The goal of spiritual growth is not only to know the truth.
It is to improve your personality so you can reveal more goodness in the world.
Why?
Because creation means experiencing yourself as separate from the Creator.
That feeling of separation makes it possible to also feel alone, afraid, ashamed, and uncertain.
Without emotional skills, the nervous system naturally develops survival patterns to regain a sense of safety.
Chassidus teaches that this was part of the design of creation.
The Creator did not create human beings only to receive goodness.
He created us to become co-creators by developing the emotional skills that transform separation into relationship.
The deeper our capacity for relationship becomes, the deeper intimacy and pleasure become.
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How does faith become daas (felt knowing)?
That is why Chassidus places so much emphasis on daas (felt knowing).
Faith becomes daas through curiosity, analysis, and repeatedly recognizing patterns in your own life.
One of the most important patterns to recognize is how you seek safety and control in your relationships.
This idea has deep roots in Chassidus. The Chernobyl Maggid (student of the Besht) taught that every thought belongs to one of seven categories. He said this teaching came through ‘external inspiration’ and not a feeling he experienced. The point is that our thoughts follow patterns, and those patterns can be recognized.
What does each survival pattern believe?
Many of those patterns are adaptive nervous system responses. They helped you survive difficult experiences in early childhood, but they can also make trust and intimacy more difficult as an adult.
Fight (which often shows up as narcissism) believes, “If I become stronger, more right, or more intimidating, I’ll be safe.”
Flight (which is avoidance) believes, “If I avoid this, I’ll be safe.”
Freeze (which looks like inaction or shutdown) believes, “Nothing I do about the situation will matter.”
Fawn (which is people-pleasing) believes, “If everyone is happy with me, I’ll be safe.”
These patterns can become so automatic that they feel like your personality.
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What questions help you notice your own patterns?
If you believe the Creator is good, ask yourself:
Where do I resist goodness?
Where do I hide from responsibility?
Which survival pattern do I rely on most?
What belief keeps repeating beneath it?
When do I stop being curious and assume I already know what will happen?
If you do not believe in the Creator, ask yourself:
What patterns keep shaping my relationships?
What kind of person do my beliefs help me become?
Am I as curious about evidence that challenges my worldview as I am about evidence that supports it?
Daas does not begin with having all the answers.
It begins by becoming curious enough to analyze your life and recognize patterns.
The more patterns you recognize, the more you begin to trust that your life is not random, but part of the Creator’s plan.
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How do survival patterns become weaker?
As trust grows, the need to control begins to weaken.
Fight no longer needs to prove itself.
Flight no longer needs to avoid.
Freeze no longer believes nothing you do about the situation will matter.
Fawn (which is people-pleasing) no longer needs everyone’s approval.
Instead of trying to create safety through control, you begin finding safety in your relationship with the Creator.
That relationship gives you the inner strength to develop emotional skills like curiosity, compassion, healthy boundaries, and self-forgiveness.
As those emotional skills grow, trust deepens, your personality changes, and your survival patterns become weaker.
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How does awe begin and grow?
From there, your relationship with the Creator begins to deepen as awe grows.
Awe begins by noticing patterns that show there is wisdom behind life.
You notice order in nature, patterns in your own mind and body, the way events connect, and how much can depend on one small choice.
The more you notice, the more life stops feeling random or ordinary.
Wonder grows as you see how much wisdom is built into existence.
Fear grows as you realize the Creator is here and your choices truly matter before Him.
Humility grows as you realize how little you understand compared with the wisdom behind everything.
Music is one of the fastest ways for the nervous system to feel this awe. A melody can help you feel beauty, depth, sadness, joy, and closeness before your mind fully explains what you are feeling.
Talking with the Creator about what you feel can also deepen awe, love, and intimacy when you believe He is listening.
Fear, sadness, gratitude, confusion, joy, and hope stop being feelings you carry alone. They become part of a relationship.
This is healthy for the nervous system because it learns to experience deeper relationship instead of only practicing control and survival.
How can awe, love, joy and sadness all be intimacy?
As trust grows, awe can deepen love.
Love means increasingly wanting closeness with the Creator and wanting your life to express His goodness.
Joy can come from feeling and trusting the goodness and closeness that are already present.
Sadness can come from feeling where His goodness and closeness could still be more revealed.
Awe, love, joy, and sadness are different ways intimacy with the Creator can be felt.
The deeper your capacity for these feelings becomes, the more deeply you can experience the relationship.
Chassidus teaches that the deepest pleasure is intimacy with the Creator.
What changes when truth becomes felt knowing?
Survival patterns teach us to trust control more than relationship.
Daas [felt knowing] teaches us to trust relationship more than control.
Felt knowing means that truth no longer stays only in your mind. You begin to actually feel awe toward the Creator because you recognize that you are living before Him now.
Without daas, you may know something is true without feeling it deeply.
With daas, truth begins to shape your personality, your relationships, and the way you experience the Creator.
The Lubavitcher Rebbe taught that every person has a role in preparing the world for the Messianic era.
One of the deepest ways we do that is by building a genuine relationship with the Creator.
Awe helps you feel that you are living before Him.
Trust allows love to deepen.
Joy helps you feel the goodness and closeness that are already present.
Sadness helps you feel where greater closeness and goodness are still missing.
And the more we replace control with trust, and survival with relationship, the more we become the kind of people who can help build a world of revealed goodness.
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Chassidus was reignited by Rabbi Yisrael Baal Shem Tov (the Besht) about 300 years ago, after much of its inner wisdom had been lost to most of the Jewish people.
Questions people ask
What emotional skills help with fear and shame?
Feeling separate from the Creator makes it possible to feel alone, afraid, and ashamed. Emotional skills transform that separation into relationship. The emotional skills named here are curiosity, compassion, healthy boundaries, and self-forgiveness. As those emotional skills grow, trust deepens, your personality changes, and your survival patterns become weaker.
How do I begin to trust when I don’t have all the answers?
Daas (felt knowing) does not begin with having all the answers. It begins with the emotional skill of curiosity: becoming curious enough to analyze your life and recognize patterns. The more patterns you recognize, the more you begin to trust that your life is not random, but part of the Creator’s plan.
Why am I a people-pleaser?
Fawn (which is people-pleasing) is an adaptive nervous system response. It believes, “If everyone is happy with me, I’ll be safe.” Patterns like this helped you survive difficult experiences in early childhood and can become so automatic that they feel like your personality. As trust and emotional skills like healthy boundaries grow, the need for everyone’s approval weakens.
How can I feel closer to the Creator?
Awe begins with the emotional skill of noticing patterns that show there is wisdom behind life. Music is one of the fastest ways for the nervous system to feel this awe. Talking with the Creator about what you feel can deepen awe, love, and intimacy when you believe He is listening.
“The greatest spiritual is not between belief and unbelief. It is between control and relationship.”
Explore the NextSelf Blog. Start with this post explaining the world of souls. And my Youtube.
The blog lists all the difference patterns to study, understanding patterns is how one can develop 'Daas' [felt knowing].
Update: As awe, trust, and love deepen, they can allow greater openness and intimacy with the Creator. That intimacy can include sadness when you notice how much more of His goodness can be revealed.