3 different survival strategies — all about feeling safe:

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What Are the Three Survival Strategies for Feeling Safe?

1. Narcissism = a praise addiction.

“If you admire me, I’m safe.”

Control over your opinion.

2. Abusiveness = a power/control addiction.

“If I control you, I’m safe.”

Control over your behavior.

3. People-pleasing = an acceptance addiction.

“If you approve of me, I’m safe.”

Control over my own voice (by restraining it).

Are We Only One of These Three Strategies?

And here’s the truth:

We’re not one-dimensional. A person can carry all three parts — because inside us live many different strategies that once tried to keep us safe.

Is a Pattern Who We Are or What We Learned?

Healing begins when we see the pattern for what it is:

not “who we are,” but “what we learned.”

Explore the NextSelf Blog. Start with this post explaining the world of souls, and what does it mean to be light? And my Youtube. Content is published to this facebook first and a few days later, to the blog.

The blog lists all the difference patterns to study, understanding patterns is how one can develop 'Daas' [felt knowing].
Content does not provide medical services or professional counseling, and it is not a substitute for professional medical care.

Questions people ask

What is the difference between narcissism, abusiveness and people-pleasing?

Each strategy tries to feel safe by controlling something different. Narcissism is a praise addiction, and it controls your opinion. Abusiveness is a power and control addiction, and it controls your behavior. People-pleasing is an acceptance addiction, and it controls the person’s own voice by restraining it.

What do the three survival strategies have in common?

All three are about feeling safe. Narcissism says, “If you admire me, I’m safe.” Abusiveness says, “If I control you, I’m safe.” People-pleasing says, “If you approve of me, I’m safe.” Each one looks for safety through control, and each one is a kind of addiction.

Is people-pleasing a survival strategy?

Yes. The article lists people-pleasing as the third survival strategy and calls it an acceptance addiction. The person tries to feel safe by getting approval, and keeps control by restraining their own voice. Like the other two, it is a strategy that once tried to keep us safe.

How does healing from these patterns begin?

Healing begins when we see the pattern for what it is. The article says it is not “who we are,” but “what we learned.” The first skill is awareness: noticing a strategy that once tried to keep us safe, without treating it as our identity.

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