There is a lower teshuvah and a higher teshuvah.
Lower teshuvah focuses more on the outer repair.
You did something wrong, so you regret it, stop the behavior, repair what you can, and return to living differently.
That matters deeply.
But it does not necessarily mean your inner [emotional] world has been transformed.
You can stop a behavior while the fear, shame, unhealthy desire, fantasy, or survival pattern underneath it is still there. đź”´
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Higher teshuvah goes deeper.
It is not only about repairing what you did.
It is about bringing more of your inner world back into closeness with the Creator.
That includes your emotions, desires, fears, fantasies, and parts of your personality that still feel disconnected.
This is where emotional skills can become part of teshuvah.
Awareness helps you notice what is happening inside you.
Compassion helps you face it without rejecting yourself.
Boundaries help you stop unhealthy patterns from controlling your actions.
Self-forgiveness helps you keep moving instead of staying trapped in shame.
Together, these skills can help transform the inner world instead of only controlling the outer behavior. đź”´
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This can even apply to unhealthy sexual fantasies.
The goal is not only to force the fantasy away.
For example, a fantasy can be connected to feeling alone and the need to feel wanted.
You can notice the fantasy, notice the feeling underneath it, and respond with compassion: “I understand why part of me wants this.
It is trying to help me feel wanted.” Then you can create healthier boundaries and help that energy move in a healthier direction.
That is a deeper kind of teshuvah. đź”´
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Higher teshuvah also means bringing deeper powers into your everyday relationship with the Creator.
One way to do that is by accepting more responsibility for how you live.
That can mean developing a healthier lifestyle by eating better, exercising when you need it, or taking better care of your relationships.
It can also mean going deeper in davening [prayer].
For example, instead of only saying a verse from King David’s Psalms, you can stop and try to understand what the words mean and what they say about your relationship with the Creator.
That can help you feel that the relationship matters.
And when the relationship feels more real, you can become more willing to accept responsibility for how you live. đź”´
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This is also one way guilt and worry from past sins can be transformed.
You can stay stuck thinking:
“I did something wrong. I feel bad about it.”
Or the guilt and worry can push you toward a deeper return.
You begin to think more about your relationship with the Creator.
You take better care of the life and body you were given.
You become more thoughtful in prayer.
You accept more responsibility for your choices.
Teshuvah [return to relationship] then becomes less about staying focused on the past and more about showing through your life:
“This relationship matters to me.”
The energy trapped in guilt and worry becomes the strength to accept more responsibility.
And as that responsibility expresses how much the relationship matters, guilt and worry can be transformed into felt love.
When guilt and worry about the past come back, remind yourself how differently you live now. đź”´
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Lower teshuvah repairs what went wrong.
Higher teshuvah [return to relationship] brings more of your inner world and more of your personality into the relationship.
My interpretation is that one way we access the 13 Middos HaRachamim [Attributes of Mercy] in our inner life is by practicing emotional skills like awareness, compassion, boundaries, and self-forgiveness.
Those skills help us face what is inside us with deeper mercy, while accepting more responsibility for how we live.
When guilt and worry about the past comes back, remind yourself how differently you live now.
Based on ideas in the Lubavitcher Rebbe’s edited talk, Shuva Yisroel 5749 [fully explained at insidechassidus.org].
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Related guides:
How deep emotional healing works: https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1JLhAaT6ro/
A narcissist uses G-d to protect their story: https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1Aj8fgbntb/
What does it mean that creation is an expression of the Creator’s love [desire] for intimacy? https://www.facebook.com/share/p/19aBKYGwJ8/
"All of our prophets and Sages affirm that anthropomorphic
expressions are a genuine element of our relationship with G-d" - Rabbi Adin Even-Yisrael
Emotional numbness stops you from building a relationship with the Creator because you've got to feel awe for a relationship to begin: https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1ByrZEPZQH/
Psychology of prayer explained: https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1B6WjEB1Ki/
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The Lubavitcher Rebbe taught that every person has a role in preparing the world for the Messianic era [world peace].
One of the deepest ways we do that is by building a genuine relationship with the Creator and helping other people build one too.
One of the simple missions the Rebbe gave was:
“If you know Alef, teach Alef.”
You do not have to know everything before helping someone else learn.
If you understand one Torah idea, ask someone if they want to hear it and share what you know. đź”´
The Rebbe also taught:
“We must recount and share with others the nearness of G-d that we experience.”
Noticing the Creator is not only something we keep inside.
When you notice a pattern that gives you more awe, trust, love, or awareness of His closeness, sharing it can help another person notice Him too. đź”´
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A relationship with the Creator begins when you feel awe.
Awe begins by noticing patterns that show there is wisdom behind life.
You notice order in nature, patterns in your own mind and body, the way events connect, and how one choice can change what happens next.
The more you notice, the more life stops feeling random or ordinary.
Wonder grows as you see how much wisdom is built into existence.
Fear grows as you realize the Creator is here and your choices truly matter.
Humility grows as you realize how little you understand compared with the wisdom behind everything.
Trust then helps awe grow into love.
As awe, trust, and love deepen, they can allow greater openness and intimacy with the Creator. That intimacy can include sadness because His goodness can be more revealed.
Music can also help the nervous system feel that awe and love more deeply by turning what the mind knows into something the body feels.
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You don't remember everything you learnt in this world when you enter the world of souls: https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1GdyyQ8xf6/
Emotional skills allow you to enjoy the world of souls: https://www.facebook.com/share/p/19EW7KCeaS/
The Rebbe shared a plan to get everyone into the Messianic era: https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1BwiYCkG9y/
Why is jesus embarassed about the catholic church? https://www.facebook.com/share/p/14p4VTPVBoQ/
Explore the NextSelf Blog. Start with this post explaining the world of souls. And my Youtube.
It lists all the difference patterns to study, understanding patterns is how one can develop 'Daas' [felt knowing].
Update: As awe, trust, and love deepen, they can allow greater openness and intimacy with the Creator. That intimacy can include sadness when you notice how much more of His goodness can be revealed.