They don’t ask for your perspective. They don’t pause to understand your intention. They create a fantasy version of you and then treat that fantasy as truth, because facing the real you would require humility, and they don’t know how to turn shame into humility.
Admitting they misunderstood you activates a deep shame they’ve never learned to process.
So instead of asking, they project.
Instead of clarifying, they assume.
Instead of meeting you, they defend the story in their head.
That’s why you end up explaining yourself against things you never said, motives you never had, and stories you were never part of.
This isn’t clarity, it’s self-protection masquerading as certainty. And the moment you recognize that, you stop trying to earn understanding from someone who never intended to seek it. That clarity is the boundary.
More guides:
how to transform shame into humility: https://nextself.ai/spirituality/shame-is-the-emotional-experience-of-being-finite/
Why wont a narcissist apologize? https://nextself.ai/spirituality/some-narcissists-dont-apologize/
Does a narcissist believe G-d is good? https://nextself.ai/spirituality/when-a-narcissist-says-g-d-is-good/
Secret to transform suffering into blessing: https://nextself.ai/spirituality/your-pain-isnt-random/
Explore the NextSelf Blog. Start with this post explaining the world of souls. And my Youtube.
The blog lists all the difference patterns to study, understanding patterns is how one can develop 'Daas' [felt knowing].
Update: As awe, trust, and love deepen, they can allow greater openness and intimacy with the Creator. That intimacy can include sadness when you notice how much more of His goodness can be revealed.