Not because they don’t want to. But because they never learned how.
What does the nervous system learn instead of feeling secure?
Their nervous system learned other strategies instead:
control
avoidance
people-pleasing
constant busyness.
What happens when security is never practiced?
Security was never practiced.
So they keep solving life without it.
Why do people use control, avoidance and people-pleasing?
“Some people never learned how to feel secure. so they practice survival instead. Control. Avoidance. People pleasing. Not because they love those patterns. Because those are the only ones they were every taught.”
The blog lists all the difference patterns to study, understanding patterns is how one can develop 'Daas' [felt knowing]. Content does not provide medical services or professional counseling, and it is not a substitute for professional medical care.
Questions people ask
Why do some people never try to feel secure?
It is not because they do not want to feel secure. They never learned how. Their nervous system learned other strategies instead, such as control, avoidance, people-pleasing and constant busyness. Security was never practiced, so they practice survival and keep solving life without it.
Is people-pleasing a survival strategy?
Yes. The article lists people-pleasing as one of the strategies a nervous system learns instead of security, next to control, avoidance and constant busyness. It says people practice survival instead. They do not do this because they love those patterns. They do it because those are the only ones they were ever taught.
Is feeling secure a skill you learn?
According to this article, yes. It says some people never try to feel secure because they never learned how, and that security was never practiced. So the article treats feeling secure as a skill, something a person learns by practice. Without that practice, other strategies take over.
Why do some people stay busy all the time?
In this article, constant busyness is one of the strategies a nervous system learned instead of feeling secure. It sits beside control, avoidance and people-pleasing. Security was never practiced, so these people keep solving life without it. Staying busy is one of the ways they do that.
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