When life feels unfair or lonely, we often think:
“Why is The Creator being so harsh?”
I remember feeling this way when depression was completely out of control in my life.
It felt like The Creator was nowhere to be found.
Here's a secret most people miss:
The Creator isn’t cruel,He’s hidden.
Think of it like the sun behind clouds.
The sun didn’t disappear.
It's still warm and bright.
But thick clouds block us from feeling its warmth.
When we’re stuck in adaptive trauma patterns, we create these clouds without knowing it:
1. Fight: Always angry (at yourself or others), defensive, ready to argue.
2. Flight: Running away, escaping problems and feelings.
3. Freeze: Feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or trapped in endless worry/thoughts.
4. Fawn: People-pleasing, even when it hurts us.
These patterns keep us lonely, feeling distant from kindness, and from The Creator.
Over time, this loneliness can lead to depression because we're not getting the connection we desire.
But here's the good news:
When we heal these patterns, we clear away the clouds.
Each small step towards self-awareness, humility, and compassion helps us earn The Creator's revealed kindness.
Today, try this:
Pause.
Notice your pattern.
1. Are you running, hiding, fighting, or pleasing too much?
2. Remind yourself: “I don’t need this cloud right now.”
Wanting more connection with The Creator simply means wanting to heal.
And healing means opening up to kindness.
"G-d's kindness isn't something you earn, it's something you open up to through real humility."
Explore the NextSelf Blog. Start with this post explaining the world of souls. And my Youtube. Content is published to this facebook first and a few days later, to the blog.
The blog lists all the difference patterns to study, understanding patterns is how one can develop 'Daas' [felt knowing].
Update: As awe, trust, and love deepen, they can allow greater openness and intimacy with the Creator. That intimacy can include sadness when you notice how much more of His goodness can be revealed.