Being Forgiven Doesn't Mean You've Learned How to Forgive Yourself
Someone can receive forgiveness from the Creator and still spend years struggling to forgive themselves.
The Creator can forgive someone as soon as they truly regret what they did and choose to change. Someone they harmed might need days, months, or years to forgive them.
But the person who caused the harm might struggle with shame for much longer.
Being forgiven and learning how to forgive yourself are two different experiences.
_______________
Why the Rambam warns about shame in the World to Come
Maimonides [the Rambam] teaches that someone who gives false testimony [lies as a witness] will experience shame both in this world and in the World to Come.
The Lubavitcher Rebbe asks an interesting question: Why does the Rambam give this warning about false testimony, but not about other serious sins?
The Rebbe explains that every Jewish person's life is meant to show the Creator's goodness and truth.
Giving false testimony goes against that purpose.
[Teaching false ideas about the Creator can also be understood as a spiritual form of false testimony.
If you teach people that the Creator lacks compassion, enjoys cruelty, or cannot be trusted, you can damage their ability to develop awe, love, and intimacy with Him.
Someone might later realize how much their teachings harmed other people's relationships with the Creator.]
He also explains that shame is different from physical pain or losing money. Shame can change how someone sees their own worth.
But helping others overcome those same false beliefs can help you transform your shame into wisdom and love much sooner.
________________
Why shame can last so long
Our nervous systems can respond to painful experiences with the emotional maturity of a two-year-old [the soul of love also has emotional immaturity).
Imagine someone who caused serious harm to another person.
They might feel sorry for what they did, take responsibility, and receive forgiveness.
But every time they remember what happened, they might feel overwhelmed by shame.
They know they have changed, but they haven't developed enough self-compassion to appreciate their own goodness.
You can understand that you are forgiven without knowing how to feel forgiven.
Why shame can continue after death
Chassidus [Jewish mysticism] teaches that the World to Come has two stages: first, the spiritual World of Souls for 1000-2000 years, and later, the physical World to Come, when souls return to their bodies.
The Rambam warns that someone who gives false testimony will experience shame in the World to Come. His description of the World to Come refers to the spiritual stage, not the future physical stage.
One way to understand this is that even during the Messianic era [an era of world peace], they will not develop enough emotional maturity to fully transform their shame before their physical life ends.
Their shame will continue into the spiritual World of Souls, but it doesn't have to last forever.
Some parts of our story can take longer to transform than our physical lifetime allows.
_________________
The goal isn't to forget your mistakes
Self-forgiveness doesn't mean pretending that the harm you caused wasn't serious.
It means learning to face your mistakes with enough wisdom and compassion that they no longer define your entire story.
The Rambam teaches that someone who repents [feels sorry for their mistakes and chooses to change] becomes beloved to the Creator as though they had never sinned.
But learning to appreciate your own goodness can take much longer.
The goal is to turn the shame of your past into wisdom that helps you express deeper love, goodness, and compassion.
Your mistakes can become part of the wisdom you use to build healthier relationships, instead of something that keeps you trapped in shame.
The Rebbe once said: The gift of being misguided? When you wake up, you will feel motivated to pull out all those who fell into a similar state.
______________________
Related guides:
Being a light unto the nations can mean teaching people how to transform shame through wisdom and self-forgiveness, helping them develop deeper love for themselves, others, and the Creator.
Creation is an expression of free choice, compassion and pleasure
Billions of people believe false ideas about the Creator
According to Chassidus, a person has 7 types of thoughts
You choose the emotions your nervous system feels
#NextSelf #kabbalah #jewishlife #biblestudy
“Maimonides warned that false witnesses face shame in the World to Come. What about people who teach false ideas about the Creator?”
Explore the NextSelf Blog. Start with this post explaining the world of souls, and what does it mean to be light? And my Youtube. Content is published to this facebook first and a few days later, to the blog.
The blog lists all the difference patterns to study, understanding patterns is how one can develop 'Daas' [felt knowing].
Content does not provide medical services or professional counseling, and it is not a substitute for professional medical care.