There are only a few situations that are meant to feel that serious.
A wedding is not one of them.
A holiday is not one of them.
Hosting guests is not one of them. But when you go into debt for them, you end up living in survival mode more often. That means something is at risk. Your system has to stay alert.
Survival mode feels like:
“How will I manage this?”
“How will I survive this?”
Your body is tight.
Your mind is busy.
And you won’t feel lasting joy from that place. You might have moments of joy. But your system isn’t at rest. The Creator did not ask you to serve Him from survival mode.
A wedding can be calm.
A holiday can be warm.
Hosting can be simple.
But debt turns them into something you have to keep managing in and out of survival mode. Only three things are life or death according to the Hebrew Bible. These are the only times you go into full survival mode to not do them:
Idol worship.
Murder.
Forbidden sexual immorality.
(like rape, incest, and adultery).
That means: You do whatever it takes to not do them. You take on debt. You give up comfort. Everything else is where you learn how to feel joy and build relationship.
Explore the NextSelf Blog. Start with this post explaining the world of souls. And my Youtube.
The blog lists all the difference patterns to study, understanding patterns is how one can develop 'Daas' [felt knowing].
Update: As awe, trust, and love deepen, they can allow greater openness and intimacy with the Creator. That intimacy can include sadness when you notice how much more of His goodness can be revealed.